Another day gone. Well finally got the alternator changed on the car, after it left me stranded yet again this morning. This time was at the gas station. On a Monday morning do you think anyone would give me a boost. Nope not a soul, but they would comment on how it sucks to be stuck. Ya nice people hope you relize what goes around comes around! At any rate CAA gets there and gives me a boost. Great in the mean time while waiting the guy in the store was super nice, bought me a coffee. We chatted about his wanting to be a fireman, I encouraged him and gave him a few contacts of friends. We chatted about the value of first aid training and the fact that I am a paramedic. Nice kid I hope that he has good luck in his future, not too many nice people like that out there anymore. So thanks :D. Cost me $185 to fix the car, just for the part, thank you Dave for fixing it so fast for me when I am sure you had better things to do. Dave is a gem, fixs things for me without question or money and usually right away. Hell if I don't have the cash for the part he has paid for things and not wanted pay back. Can't ask for more than that. Good to feel that you know somethings are taken care of and it isn't a huge stresser.
On the other hand the cash for the part today totally wiped out what little savings I had. Flat broke, not two pennies to rub together. Sucks. Blew a rant in my workout log about the ex and child support issues. That sucks too. Going on 4 years now of being free from that hell, too bad I still have to be connected, to bad he is an irresponsible git. Some people never grow up (he's 43 or 44) but oh well at least he has all his toys and goodies. Don't get me wrong my kids don't suffer for his lack of paying (ok well a little as no skating again this year because I can't afford the skates, and littel stuff like that) but I have nothing left of value to pawn. Someday things will be ok again and I will be able to do things alone and not worry bout money shit so much. Work has been super slow so that has made a huge impact, but damnit $200 a month for two kids would really help out right now and it wouldn't hurt anything more than his ability to party for a day or two. Alas its my own fault, I put myself right where I am. Stupid jerk I am.
Another funny thing hahaha. A guy that I have been chatting with that had wanted to get to know me more, get together etc.... yep well story of my life he is trying to get back with his wife. Funnier still he says his feelings for me haven't changed. Thanks try and say nice things to me makes me cry because I do deserve to be treated good! Just not by someone else's husband. Somewhere out there there is someone that would love what I have to offer and thats that. I won't have to take second place or worry that there is someone lurking around the corner that is going to steal them away. Somewhere. I hate somewhere and I am fucking depressed! So it hurt and what do I say ' it hurt but its ok, its all good, I understand'. Haha even funnier I really do understand, I totally think right now he is doing the right thing for himself and that I am being a little selfish. I am not angry with him and I encourage him to do whatever it takes to make it work and I really hope it turns out for the best. It just sucks when you get slammed into the ground yet again. So time to forget that, bam its gone, time to move forward be his friend and support his choices and support him when he needs it. I can do that, still really like him but I can put that aside. Ok done. Deep breath tomorrow is another day and its going to be awesome!
